I am 40 and have had a spanking fetish since I was about six. It was caused, I am almost certain, by my first-grade teacher brandishing her paddle and hearing the loud spankings being done in the hallway. I have read that childhood trauma can be repressed as a coping mechanism and resurfaces with a sexual desire for spanking, often with a particular implement that was involved. In my case the paddle. For years I fantasized about being paddled. I got my wish in 7th grade a couple of times but I didn’t like it. It hurt and was embarrassing. I even opted for a different punishment when the paddle was a choice on one occasion after the first paddling.